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Occupational Hazards/Transcript

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Transcript
This is a transcript. Please check the transcript editing guide before altering.
Format Guess I'm not gonna fix that with a restart.
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--Barbie is carrying a lot of shopping bags from the mall before Ken comes along to help her--

Ken: I got it Barbie!

--Ken opens the door--

Barbie: Ah, Ken! It's like you have some kinda super power that tells you when I need help.

Ken: Haha! Super power, wouldn't that be something.

Ken (on couch): It is something, my Barbie sense tingles whenever Barbie needs my Super powered boyfriend abilities (breathes in deeply) with great power comes great responsibility.

Ken: Okay Barbie, I'll pick you up tonight at seven sharp.

Barbie: Thanks again!

Ryan: Shouldn't you be at work?

Ken: Excuse me?

Ryan: It's the middle of the day Kenny-boy, don't you have a job?

Ken: If a real man has a real job, then I'm getting a real job.

Ryan: Great! While you're at it, get me a real cold drink, being me is hard work.

Ken: Being a Lifeguard is a great job! Hey youngster! It's only been 15 minutes since you ate. Ah, ah, ah no swimming with scissors

--Ken looks through his binoculars--

Ken: Sir, you might wanna consider a suit with a little more coverage. My Barbie sense is tingling.

--Ken drops everything to help Barbie--

--Barbie is putting the lid back on the jar of pickles--

Ken: Noooooo!

--Ken grabs the jar of pickles from Barbie, opens the lid, and hands the jar over to Barbie--

Barbie:(giggles) Thanks Ken. But the jar was already open, I was putting the lid back on.

--Ken gets a job as a Photographer--

Ken: Let's make some magic. Give me fierce, give me pouty, give me momentarily confused. Love it, love it, love it...Barbie senses tingling again.

--Ken leaves behind the bowl of fruit that he was photographing--

Barbie: Spider!!!

--Ken goes to Barbie's house and uses his camera to pound the spider (sweater fuzz) that is on the wall--

Ken:Aaaaahhhh! Aaaahhh!

Barbie: My hero. Thanks Ken.

Ken: All in a day's work Barbie.

--Then Barbie realizes the spider wasn't actually a spider--

Barbie: Oh, it's just sweater fuzz.

--Chelsea appears smiling on the other side of the hole in the wall that Ken made with his camera, attempting to kill the spider--

Ken got another job as an Astronaut--

Space Command: Comencing systems check Commander Ken.

Ken: Boop, Bap, beep, bap, boop. Rodger that Space Command, all systems are a go here.Over.

Space Command: Commencing countdown, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3...

--Ken leaves rocket while space command is in countdown--

Ken: Barbie sense is tingling. 

Space Command: Commander Ken, what are you doing?

Ken: Barbie needs me!

Space Command: Not again!

--The rocket that Ken was supposed to be on crashed into a satellite and all of the televisions in the world lose signal--

Speaker on Television: The striker releases and (The T.V loses signal)

--All the people in the mall watching television are in an uproar--

--Barbie is about to turn on the television--

Ken: (breathing heavily)

Barbie: Ken! I was just about to watch my favorite movie, Sad and Romantic the sequal

Ken: I thought as much, that's why I came prepared

--Ken arrives with a large bar of chocolate, a large box of popcorn, and a large soda can--

Barbie: Ah Ken! You are so thoughtful! It's like you know me better than I know myself.

--Ken exits the dreamhouse--

Ken: Seems I've tried everything, huh, I'm never gonna have a real job.

Ryan: Hey! Barbie home?

Ken: Uh-huh.

Ryan: Thanks Kenny-boy.

--Ryan goes in to sing for Barbie--

Ryan: Me me me me me me mo

Ken: Wait a second, being Barbie's boyfriend is my calling

--Ken carries Ryan out and throws him out of the dreamhouse--

Ryan: Hey Ken! Wh-What are you doing! Let go! Woah!

Ken: Yup! And it's a pretty good job.

Ryan: Ah! I think my spleen is tingling, no it's ruptured.

Transcript Guide

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