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(Opening Theme)

Chef John: Welcome to Doll vs. Desert! I am Chef John! Now let's meet our confectionery contenders! Raquelle!

Raquelle: *kisses her hands and waves*

Chef John: Now, meet our other competior! Teresa! And Teresa, you brought along an assisant chef! Internatioal fashion icon! Barbie!

Raquelle: Ugh, how come I can never, ever have the spotlight to myself?! Chef John, I brought a special a'catty, too! My brother, Ryan!

Ryan (singing): I'm a sugar sweet cream puff!

Raquelle (has hands over his mouth): Ryan! Not now!

Chef John: Your dessert challenge today is…cupcakes!

Barbie: Yeah! Teresa, your specialty!

Teresa: Oh, totally! I can make cupcakes in my sleep!

Teresa (on couch): But it is mega hard to get red velvet out of the duvet…

Ryan: I know! I'll make a huge vanilla soufflé! It'll be a mega hit!

Raquelle: Whatever! People, watch reality shows, to see outrageous personalities.

Ryan: Raquelle, hand me that butter…

Raquelle (kicks a stick of butter): Hi-yah! *it hits Ryan in the face* How's that for cray-cray?

*Raquelle slips on a stick of butter, screaming*

*She crashes into the camera, and Chef John comes to pick it up*

*Barbie tempts to touch the batter*

Teresa: Don't, even, think about it! *Barbie looks at the batter*

Teresa: Stop thinking about it! *throws oven mitt at her*

Chef John: You have one minute left!

Ryan: Yeah, there's the winner! Come to papa!

Raquelle (screams) *Ryan throws the soufflé, and it is about to fall on Raquelle*

Raquelle: How can I not get that part? I sent in a four-hour audition tape! *The giant soufflé falls right on Raquelle*

Ryan: Nooo, it can't be! You were so young! So beautiful! So… puffy. *cries and then eats it*

Chef John: Now! The moment of truth! Dessert de Baaarbie!

Barbie: Chef John, Teresa and I made a scrumptious plate of -- *gasps* Crumbs?

*It turns out Teresa ate the cupcakes*

Chef John: You! Are disqualified! *Crowd gasps*

Chef John: *while eating Ryan's soufflé* Rich, moist, with an ever-so slight hint of floor.

Raquelle: That was me!

Chef John: Raquelle and Ryan, you have defied dessert!

Barbie: Come on, Teresa, I don't mind loosing. I just wish I'd gotten to taste those cupcakes!

*Teresa holds out her sock-monkey holding a cupcake, and Barbie takes it, and eats it*

Barbie: Ooh! Mmmm!

Teresa: *giggles*

Ryan: This deserves a song!

Raquelle: *shoves butter in his mouth and starts talking* I did it! I beat Barbie! And millions of people saw it!

Chef John: Millions?! Ha! I wish! We're on opposite Life in the Dreamhouse! No one watches this show!

Raquelle: What?!

*Chef John helps get the butter out of Ryan's mouth from choking, and Raquelle slips on it*

Raquelle: Aaahh! *crashes into screen* Ooow-ow-ow!

*The trophy drops and it lands on Ryan's head, then in his hands*

Transcript Guide

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