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Chef John: Welcome to Doll vs. Dessert! I am Chef John! Now let's meet our confectionery contenders! Raquelle!
--Raquelle kisses her hands and waves--
Chef John: Now, meet our other competior! Teresa! And, Teresa, you brought along an assistant chef! International fashion icon! Barbie!
Raquelle: Ugh! How come I can never, ever have the spotlight to myself?! Chef John, I bought a special a'catty, too! My brother, Ryan!
Ryan (singing): I'm a sugar sweet cream puff!
--Raquelle has hands over his mouth--
Raquelle: Ryan! Not now!
Chef John: Your dessert challenge today is…cupcakes!
Barbie: Yay! Teresa! Your specialty!
Teresa: Oh, totally! I can make cupcakes in my sleep!
Teresa (on couch): But it is mega hard to get red velvet out of the duvet…
Ryan: I know! I'll make a huge, vanilla soufflé! It'll be a mega hit!
Raquelle: Whatever! People, watch reality shows, to see outrageous personalities.
Ryan: Raquelle, hand me that butter.
--Raquelle kicks a stick of butter--
Raquelle: HI-YAH!
--It hits Ryan in the face--
Raquelle: How's that for cray-cray?
(Raquelle screams as she slips on a stick of butter, and bumps into the camera. Chef John comes to pick it up)
--Barbie tempts to touch the batter--
Teresa: Don't. Even. Think about it!
--Barbie looks at the batter--
Teresa: (offscreen) Stop thinking about it!
--Teresa throws oven mitt at Barbie--
Chef John: You have one minute left!
Ryan: Yeah, there's the winner! Come to papa!
--Giant soufflé comes out--
(Raquelle screaming)
--Ryan throws the soufflé, and it is about to fall on Raquelle--
Raquelle: How can I not get that part? I sent in a four-hour audition tape!
--The giant soufflé falls right on Raquelle--
Ryan: Nooo! It can't be! You were so young! So beautiful! So… puffy.
--He cries and then eats it--
Chef John: And now! The moment of truth! Your dessert please, Barbie!
Barbie: Chef John. Teresa and I made a scrumptious plate of -- *gasps* Crumbs?
--It turns out Teresa ate the cupcakes--
Teresa: What?
Chef John: You! Are disqualified!
--Crowd gasps while eating Ryan's soufflé--
Chef John: Mmm, rich, moist, with an ever-so slight hint of floor.
Raquelle: That was me!
Chef John: Raquelle and Ryan, you have defied dessert!
Barbie: Come on, Teresa, I don't mind losing. I just wish I'd gotten to taste those cupcakes!
--Teresa holds out her sock-monkey holding a cupcake, and Barbie takes it, and eats it--
Barbie: Ooh! Mmmm!
Teresa: *giggles*
Ryan: This deserves a song!
--Raquelle shoves butter in his mouth and starts talking--
Raquelle: I did it! I beat Barbie! And millions of people saw it!
Chef John: Millions?! Ha! I wish! We're on opposite Life in the Dreamhouse! No one watches this show!
Raquelle: What?!
--Chef John helps get the butter out of Ryan's mouth from choking, and Raquelle slips on it--
Raquelle: AAAHH!!!! --crashes into screen-- Ow-ow-ow!
--The trophy drops and it lands on Ryan's head, then in his hands--